Johnny Squires - Rookie DJ Initiation Ceremonies
There is one story back in the early 80s, where several of us DJs were working in Harstad, North Norway. There were at least four DJs living in town and I think three of us lived at this house that was owned by Jan Høiland, a famous Norwegian pop singer in the 60s, and his wife, I’ve forgotten her name but she was rather a large lady. She used to run the house - it was a boarding house - and she lived in the first floor flat. The house was on three floors plus the attic. A big house. And, we were shoved in the attic. There were some rooms up there and we were in it. I’d been there several times and I got on quite well with her actually. She liked me because I kept my room tidy. The other guys didn’t look after theirs. So, if there were any DJ parties we would always have them in one of the DJ’s rooms. Not my room, obviously. It was smoky in there and I didn’t want the stink of beer in my room.
We had this young lad who had just come over from the UK and I think it was his first booking in Norway. We quickly realised how unfamiliar he was with working in Norway when he asked us where the Police Station was. Well, we said it is the same place you took your passport and contract to. I haven’t been yet, he said. Why not, we countered, you are supposed to go there within two or three working days. I’ll go tomorrow he said. We sensed a little wind up coming especially as it was his first time in Norway. So we said ‘Have you done your fire escape drill yet?’ ‘No, why, what’s that?’ he said. ‘Well, all these houses are made of wood, you know and it’s law that you have to know what to do in case of fire’ And, I knew there was a rope and harness stacked in the cupboard because I had had that room before. I said it is probably one of these cupboards here. Oh here it is, I said, dragged it out. He said ‘What’s that then?’ ‘It’s a rope and harness. If there is a fire you’ve gotta get in here and lower yourself out of the window. People upstairs will then pull the harness back, get in it and lower themselves down and get out of the building.’
I said have you got your paperwork with you? He replied what paperwork? To give to the Police.
It was all in Norwegian so he wouldn’t understand a word that was written down. It’s got to be signed by two people who know how to do the drill. He said well can you just sign it? We all said no no no. After that we said if you don’t know how to do it and we get found out we will get into trouble.
He said OK, What do I have to do? We said you have to get into the harness and we have to lower you down. And, then you can come back in again upstairs and then we can sign the papers and say you have done the drill.
We are all pissed by the way. There were cases of beer everywhere it was shocking.
It was blowing a gale outside because it was winter. Snow and windy - Harstad is a very cold place in winter. We lowered him out the window and let him go halfway down.when we stopped the pulley so he didn’t go down anymore. H shouted up to us ‘It’s not going down, lads? What’s happening’
We said ‘Don’t make too much noise people are trying to go to sleep’ so we shut the window and left him hanging there. No surprise he started to get really angry like most people would so he starts banging on the nearest window which happens to be Mrs Høilands - in the middle of the night.
She shouts at him ‘What are you doing?’ He shouts back ‘I’m doing my fire escape drill!’ ‘WHAT??’
So we’ve all legged it out of the room and gone into my room and I’ve jumped into bed and pulled the covers over me and I think the other lads stood by the door. The landlady thumped up the stairs like a hippo swearing and cursing all the way. She throws the door open and came into my room and I jump up saying ‘What’s going on? WHAT’s going on?’ ‘I said I’ve been trying to get to sleep all night but there was bloody noise coming from that other room…’
‘I’m so sorry, Johnny’ she said ‘There’s something wrong with this guy’
I said in surprise’ What has he done now?”
‘He’s jumped out of the window and he’s hanging on a rope!’
I said ‘Is he alright?’
So she undid the rope to let him down.
There’s all hell to pay because he wouldn’t speak to me and he was really pissed off with everybody. He was well and truly set up for that one. That was a good one, that was. We’ve got loads of stories like that.